Why do you think it's crucial for good friends who can "click" to meet up for coffee/tea regularly especially at an old age? Research has proven that sincere friendships are known to extend a person's life, prevent loneliness and minimise high risk in mental and physical health.
The day I retired, Sharifah was still working but we still hang out at my garden home during weekends when time permits.
Getting out of our house meeting good friends gave us the opportunity to look good by making an effort to dress up, as this may help improve our morale at our age. It lifts our mood and makes us happier.
Compared to staying at home and let the days go by, day by day without any changes thus taking life for granted. This could lead us to no motivation or purpose to live the rest of our life. Most of us, as grandma`s already have had their purpose planned on the day they retired and that is, to take care of grand kids full or part time.
Some may start a hobby or learn new things that they like. Others may want to continue working as part time. I have known a dedicated midwife, Theresa J. whom I had worked with, in Singapore, in 2012. She continued working until she was 82 yrs old.
All the consultants and patients, including me, salute and gave her our respect. One consultant told me she was the same midwife who helped his mother delivered him into this world and gave him his 1st bath after he was born 😂
Nurses and Midwives are a very important team in the health care organisation. The day we were sworn in as Nurses, after reading our pledge (like the army and police) to fulfil our duties to serve our people and country, we had made so many sacrifices. One of the common sacrifices was not able to celebrate with family on certain festive seasons such as New year, Chinese New Year, Hari Raya, or Christmas. We had to be on duty even on these days, unless we are lucky enough to be given off days to celebrate with family. I remember I had to work every Chinese New Year for 8 years and as junior nurses, we even sang Auld Lang Sye during a quiet night in the ward with patients who can't sleep when the clock strike at 12midnight. The hardest was when our family members were sick, we can't care for them but we had to care for the sick in the hospital. When we started having our own family, it takes a lot of understanding and patience in the family who is a member as a nurse. Despite all these hardships, we persevered and felt it's worth the sacrifice because it was very rewarding with the sense of happiness to see each patient get well or thank us for taking care of them. That kind of wonderful feeling is not easy to describe but it is something money cannot buy.
During our retirements, Sharifah and I will always find opportunities to meet up at most weekends for "Kupi 2".
When Sharifah retired, she is only free to meet at most weekends because of grandkids' commitments. Same goes to Jennifer .
Initially it was only Sharifah and me in the "Kupi 2" gang since 2019.
Jennifer then became the 3rd of our kupi2 gang, who only reconnected with us early this year, 2024 when we met again during our visit to our previous Matron of our training days, at a nursing home. The 3 of us "clicked" so well and that's how we became the "3 Musketeers." 😂
Jennifer was 5yrs my senior while Sharifah, was 3 yrs my junior during our nursing careers in the 70's.
The 1st time I met Jennifer was during my training days where she was already a trained staff nurse at the the Male Surgical ward and Sharifah, during our night shift at the female medical ward. At that time, Sharifah was in her 1st year while I was in my 3rd. I never forget the story of how naive Sharifah was, about a dream of a patient whom we both looked after. 😂
We three had achieved our ambitions. Both of them had climbed the ladder of promotion while I went abroad to pursue my nursing career in various international countries.
These 2 ex colleagues were very important friends to me, especially Sharifah. We have known each other for so many years and have a lot in common. We had worked together, studied together and been my room mate during our teaching course. Our bond deepened and we became Best Friend Forever.
Even when I had gone abroad, we always keep in touch and on every return, we always made an effort to meet. Good old friends can help us evolve in many ways.
Good old friends really matters to me because they already know our strength and weaknesses and vice versa. They love us for who we are, thus you don't have to pretend something who you are not. Whenever we meet for "kupi 2" we always have endless topics to talk or discuss.
Our regular "kupi 2" place is usually the Fook Yuen Putatan branch. Most of the time, after "Kupi2", we will continue our happy activities to some where such as visits to various nursery to admire or buy flowers that catch our eyes.
We brought our own "Deringin leaf" to create the old school style atmosphere.
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Reward of our river stones collection for my little garden😍
We, being locals in Sabah used the word "Kupi2"(coffee) which means meeting up friends for breakfast or teatime. It was a new slang used locally here around the year 2016. The word "Kupi2" came from KupiKupiFM, Sabah's first community - driven radio station. Since then that word "Kupi 2" became very popular. You can hear this word everywhere in our community, especially among the youngsters.
In West Malaysia, "Yam Cha" is more commonly heard. While those who speak English use, as usual, tea or coffee time .
Our regular weekend breakfast together has created a wonderful happy memorable gathering because we three have so much to share, such as our happy funny stories of our nursing experiences, our cute metaphor of words and laughter, love for nature - green plants, flowers and many more. The point is, we are making our retirement productive and fun. That helps us to call ourselves and declare us to be the "Retired Healthy Nightingales".
It's a blessing to have good friends like us, who are still able to get up and about, enjoy breakfast, chat, and so on. I pray to God to bless us with many more "Kupi 2" sessions to come 🙏 "
Reference:
Friendship : Rao, S (2024)
Old age friendship benefits : Aetna (2024)
Why old friends matter : J Geronto B. Psychol.Sci. Soc. Sci (2020)
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